Is perfection that important?

It was Christmas eve 2010 and I was having tea with a couple of friends at a restaurant in uptown after lunch hour. Obviously, we have chosen the wrong place, the Mid Valley Shopping Centre because the whole area was very jam. There were still a lot of last minute shoppers!

We were talking about my last article in the blog, "personal mission" and the ladies started to talk about perfection. One mentioned that her mission is to have a perfect husband, a perfect job and ideally a perfect make over.

We were all burst into laughter when I suggested her to find a bulldog, cos that will solve the hubby problem. Spent RM30K in Marie France for a total make over and be the mistress to a billionaire. Haha!

Well, is perfection really that important? I always believe that seeking perfection will do more harm than good. It is basically just an illusion or perception and yet we see a lot of singles out there still hoping to meet a perfect partner or job.

Most of the time we human beings didn't realise that even we are not perfect. So how to find a perfectionist? How to find a perfect job? Well, I also suggested that why don't we look at the matter in a different angle? Honestly, I never believe in perfection but betterment.

Analyse our current situation and plan for our immediate future. Can we see a betterment in our plan? Most of the time,  if you follow the right instinct, you will find a better-self. Once you achieved that, your perception will change towards the environment and who knows, out of the blue you may just find the Mr or Ms Right or the job that you are on is the right career?

A happy self is a perfect life.

Let's get back to reality. Strive for our future.






  

Are You a Climber or Connector?

A lot of people think that leadership is a race.

Leadership is relational as much as positional. 

I have an ex-colleague asking me a funny question when we met up. She has joined another ex-colleague in a different company, but I still love them as they are still my close friends.

When she addressed me as "boss" in front of her new boss (our ex-colleague), she said that he felt offended.

Isn't he is not better than me now?

When she told me that, I felt weird because we used to work closely together. Is there some kind of race which I am supposed to know, or ought to know?

I recalled my favourite guru, John Maxwell, who wrote in his book Leadership is Gold: Always be a connector and not just a climber.

Everyone wants to taste success, but success doesn't mean victory. If you just eliminate everyone in between to achieve your goal, you could win a battle but not the war.

Maxwell advised us to be a great connector in finding our way up. In doing so, we will have support from all levels as we position ourselves in the next.

We need to build bridges and not burn them.

Any thoughts?

The 3 R's of Decision Making

From the guru of leadership, John Maxwell, I'd like to share his advice for decision making, which he calls "The 3 R's of Decision Making".

Below excerpt reproduced from http://johnmaxwellonleadership.com/2010/08/17/the-3-rs-of-decision-making/

Before any decision on where to invest my time, this is what I ask myself:

1. What is REQUIRED of me? Any realistic assessment of priorities in any area of life must start with a realistic assessment of what you must do. For you to be a good spouse or parent, what is required of you? To satisfy your employer, what must you do? If you lead others, then what must you personally do that cannot be delegated to anyone else?
2. What gives me the greatest RETURN? As you progress in your career, you begin to discover that some activities yield a much higher return for the effort than others. After determining requirements, focus on choices with a high return on investment (ROI).
3. What gives me the greatest REWARD? If you do only what you must, along with what is effective, then you will probably be highly productive. But you may not be content. I think it’s also important to consider what gives you personal satisfaction.

Office Politics

Last week, I was busy traveling and didn't notice a few emails that came into my BlackBerry. By the time I read them and called my friend, it was late in the evening and I immediately sensed she was distressed.

Her colleague had been treating her like a sister, but when she resigned, a nasty email was dropped blaming my friend for her job lost while congratulating her on her new employment soon taking over her position. My friend and the ex-associate were from different departments. Even worse, the email was circulated to the top management. She was lost and speechless not knowing what to do next!

I just advised her "not to do anything". 

I empathize with her situation because I have also experienced backstabbing by colleagues or superiors in the past, without knowing what was going on. There are many nasty people out there!

This is a form of office politics. The best way to play office politics is not to play politics.

The truth will always prevail.

Have you encountered office politics before? What can we do to avoid it?

Interview on The Leaderonomics Show

My interview on Talent Management with Roshan Thiran on The Leaderonomics Show is out!

Are Malaysians Ready to Accept Radical Management?

What do you mean by Radical Management VS Traditional Management?

Let's hear it from the Radical Management guru, Steve Denning.

Dictatorship VS Leadership

Here is an old article that is worth reproducing. I always say that there is no leader without a team. To know how successful a leader is, take a look at the team's success. Here is an article by wikibooks that differentiates between a leader and a dictator:

The glory of a leader can be plagued and overshadowed by many concerns that can affect the team’s success. A leader must wear many hats and be able to lead and encourage a team to perform. It is necessary for a leader to become an engaged member of the team, but be able to lead at the same time. It is inevitable that different personalities, industries, and goals will force any leader to adapt and mold to fit the current environment. What is the best way to successfully encourage and lead a team? This is the million dollar question. Although each situation will present various opportunities and needs that a leader must meet, there will be some leadership styles that will impede the group each time.

What is the appropriate balance between being a dictator and being weak or a push over? A leader must be able to relate to the team and earn their respect and loyalty to the goal. This cannot be accomplished by being a dictator and micro managing the team and the members. A leader must manage and master the core competencies as illustrated in When Teams Work Best by LaFasto and Larson to be effective and respected. When a leader is a dictator it violates the concept of the leader being a part of the team. However, when a leader is not active or an integral link in the process then an unqualified leader evolves from the team pool, which creates dysfunction and chaos.

At one extreme of the leadership spectrum is dictatorship. When a leader is a dictator they feel better because they have control and power. Leaders that have a high desire for control will have a significant impact on the team. Team members can identify when a dictator emerges and at that point it is very difficult for the leader to break out of this defined mold. As a result, the members shut down because they feel their contribution and ideas are not valued. This hampers the team’s identity, confidence, openness, and supportiveness. The ideas and actions now become that of the leader rather than a unique collection of the team.

Conversely, the other end of the leadership spectrum involves being a push over or what can be interpreted as being disinterested or possessing little passion. When a designated leader expresses little desire or interest in the team goal then it is quite natural for an informal leader to emerge from the team. Consequently, the road toward the vision and goal becomes blocked with obstacles and the goal is more distant and foggy. Moreover, the members feel abandoned when the leader does not demonstrate a concern or responsibility in the decision. This forces the members to guess the leader’s perspective and ultimately they begin to question their ability to lead, which devalues their trust and confidence in their leader. The ideas and actions of the group become less creative and effective because the members don’t feel important.

Therefore, a leader must discover the appropriate balance and walk the fine line. An effective leader needs to provide direction and share their ideas while building the member’s confidence. It is much easier for a leader to argue and fight for their point of view when they haven’t transformed into a dictator. A leader should manage their control and exhibit their care and passion by sharing the control with the team. When the control and power is balanced and shared between the leader and the team issues such as what gets discussed and possible solutions and actions now become a collective effort. Resultantly, this type of relationship and arrangement leads to a high level of trust and satisfaction. And it is common knowledge that these are fundamental elements for a productive and happy team and group.